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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH AND HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS! THIS IS A HANDY GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER'S LICENSE IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!

DANGEROUS: WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
SAFER: CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?
SAFEST: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?

DANGEROUS: ARE YOU WEARING THAT?
SAFER: WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!
SAFEST: WOW! LOOK AT YOU!

DANGEROUS: WHAT ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT?
SAFER: COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?
SAFEST: HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.

DANGEROUS: SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?
SAFER: YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.
SAFEST: CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?

DANGEROUS: WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY?
SAFER: I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.
SAFEST: I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!


A FEW THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:
PASS MY SHOTGUN PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE PUFFY MID-SECTION PEOPLE MAKE me SICK PROVIDE ME with SWEETS PARDON MY SOBBING PIMPLES MAY SURFACE PASS MY SWEATS PACK MY STUFF AND MY FAVORITE ONE POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR HORMONAL FRIENDS
AND THOSE WHO MIGHT NEED A GOOD LAUGH!. . . OR MEN WHO MAY NEED WARNING!

6 Comments:

At 11:42 AM, Blogger her indoors said...

its it safe to come out now! go girl go girl go girl go!

 
At 6:54 PM, Anonymous gawilli said...

The older I become the worse the hormonal moments are. Sometimes I think my husband should get combat pay.

 
At 9:46 AM, Blogger Debs said...

I Love this! *LOL*

I guess I am heartless a bit when it comes to my hubby putting up with my PMS. I have to put up with a lot from him, so PMS is my revenge. *evil laugh*

 
At 9:31 PM, Blogger Pamela said...

I've left pMS behind me ...thank goodness.
but I still kinda like those safest statements.

 
At 7:51 AM, Blogger Tiggerlane said...

Pardon My Sobbing - that is sooooo me.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger Shauna said...

LOL - her!

Hehe - Gawilli

I agree Debs!

:) Pamela

Tiggerlane - right there with ya!

 

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