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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the ER to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

Now you decide what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Obedient Wife"

I think this has been around before. . .

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

"Wait just a moment!"

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

"Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

Thursday, June 07, 2007

My Heart is Hurting

This morning Bud and I really got into it. That kid has the I am almost 18 attitude and I don't like it!

The boys have been at football camp for 3 days and Scoop got up to go play baseball today and come back for football this evening. . .Bud was SUPPOSED to get up and go to work and then football this evening - but "he is hurting" - so he called in and told them he wouldn't be there.

I am furious! I ripped him up one side and down the other and yanked the clothes out of the dryer and threw them into a basket to keep from throwing things at him! And I was told when he turns 18 he is moving out. . .needless-to-say that didn't set well with me and I told him not to wait - to be gone at noon! I know - I wish I hadn't said that but he always pulls this stuff when his dad isn't around. . .I told him I deserved more respect from him - - - I left and came to work - - - it is so hard to hold the tears in - - -what have I done to deserve this - - - do they not realize the sacrifices that have been made for them to have and do the things that they have gotten. . .

I have made up my mind that he will no longer call me mom - he will address me as Mrs. He will get to start doing a lot of the things I do for my whole family for himself - - - he wants to be 18 by golly he's going to get the chores too!

Forgive me for ranting and forgive me if you don't agree. . .I know I am probably saying a lot of things in anger but it is something that I have to do. . .

Here's to better days ahead! :)